During an NCT class in 2018, I asked a midwife how much alcohol we could drink while breastfeeding. She was pushing breastfeeding, hard, and did not touch on formula as a suitable choice. We were asked if we had questions; I asked my question. The hard stare I received made me feel as though I had already failed as a parent.

“I just wouldn’t drink at all,” she replied.

Thinking about this four years later—and plenty of times in-between—I know that’s not a good enough answer. Her reply didn’t depend on science, wasn’t backed by evidence—it casts mothers who do drink as worthy of blame.

It also doesn’t take into account the cultural significance of alcohol in our country. By telling new mothers to abstain “just in case”, we’re making them feel guilty if they do choose to have a drink, for no good reason.

***

In utero, alcohol passes straight through the placenta to the unborn foetus. There is no known safe level of alcohol for pregnant people, and it would be highly unethical to perform the scientific studies required.

Up to 17% of the UK population may suffer from Foetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, and it has the fourth highest rate of prenatal alcohol use in the world. Drinking during breastfeeding, however, is not the same thing.

A pint of beer next to a pint of milk and breast pump — Illustrations by Jessica Wild

There have been several studies into the effect of alcohol on breastfeeding babies. La Leche League, the international breastfeeding advocacy group, references several of these on its websites. Alcohol is present in breast milk at the same rate as in the mother’s blood. It can be tricky to get your head around, so here’s an example: if I, a 64kg woman, drink one pint of 5% beer at 5 pm, my blood alcohol level will be 0.051g (50mg/ 100 millilitres of blood) at 5.30 pm, at its peak. The amount of alcohol my baby would have delivered in her milk is at the same level as a bottle of Fentimans Victorian Lemonade.

Newborns metabolise alcohol slower than adults, but at these levels there really isn’t a reason to worry. There are other reasons not to drink alcohol and handle babies, but we’ll come to those. Right now, I want to focus on new mothers' societal and cultural pressures to breastfeed and how they are at odds with the information, help and support available.

The UK has the lowest rate of breastfeeding worldwide. The number of babies who are still exclusively breastfed at 6 months old is just 1%. 0.5% of babies continue to have breast milk past their first year. The World Health Organisation (WHO) recommends breastfeeding for two years.

Expecting women to give up drinking for nearly three years per child is not working. I’d argue that blanket advice to abstain from alcohol may be contributing to our low breastfeeding numbers, making the practice unrealistic.

““It’s important for me that I get to be not just ‘mum’ sometimes.””

— Angela Parr

Liz Brown, one of the mothers I spoke to while researching this feature, agreed with me: “So many people have said to me they can't wait to finish feeding to get back to ‘normal’. I think that's a really sad way of viewing a very special period of time. Life can be normal when you have a breastfeeding baby.”

Drinking is a part of normal life for many. Cutting it out entirely may be another way for new mothers to feel untethered. Another mum, Angela Parr, put into words what that drink meant to her:

“I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for eight years. It's important for me that I get to be not just 'mum' sometimes, and having a glass of wine with dinner or on a sunny afternoon when the children are here is important to me,” she tells me. “I also think it's important that they learn about moderation from us and that we model that.”

Angela’s children are seven, five, and one, so the older children are seeing her interaction with alcohol in a way that may stick with them. She fed them for 22 months, 30 months, and 18 months so far respectively.

“My view is everything in moderation. My babies have benefitted from extended breastfeeding but I can't cut everything out. I don't think I would have done it for so long if I'd completely abstained from alcohol,” she adds.

Cultural gender roles mean that women who drink may be stigmatised, and new mothers who have a drink may be criticised, either by society at large or, worse, by their families, friends and partners. The thought of a new mother drinking is unsavoury, but what you actually shouldn’t ever do is hold the baby while drunk. Crucially, this doesn’t just apply to the breastfeeding mother.

New fathers are encouraged out to ‘wet the baby’s head’ but we shy away from serving new mothers a glass of wine. We don’t see men drinking as shameful or unnecessary. Many decades of marketing tell us that it is manly to drink beer. We’ve all hung out with a pair of new parents while the dad drinks beer after beer and the mum is on duty because she’s breastfeeding—the primary parent no matter the situation.

Culturally, UK society expects all women to be perfect mothers. They should find ultimate happiness in their children. They should be vessels, and nothing more.

When I pitched this essay, America was leaning in a worrying direction. Now, at least 13 states have banned abortion. We cannot allow the government or society to dictate what women can and can’t do with their bodies.

New mothers are adults. They have already spent some time deciding what should go into their bodies, and how to dress, use and move them. New mothers should be trusted to make decisions that are right for them. To do this, they need to be given accurate information and resources.

***

One prevalent myth is that dark beer, or Guinness, is beneficial for milk production. While the barley and hops do have a positive effect, the alcohol actually hinders it. It’s almost a zero-sum game, but the kind of urban-legend spreading of this myth may contribute to unsafe practices.

Another mum I spoke to, Janey Lee Grace, told me about her relationship with alcohol and how it has changed over time.

““If you don’t give people all the information, they won’t be able to make informed choices.””

“If I was going to breastfeed for a couple of years, I couldn't face not drinking,” she tells me. “I also heard all the stuff about Guinness being good for breastmilk, so it gave me carte blanche, I thought, to drink alcohol. I hated Guinness but tried it with Coke and it was passable. I soon went back to the wine though.”

Janey is now sober. She hosts the Alcohol Free Life podcast and runs a variety of other platforms helping others to give up drinking for good.

“[I’m] a believer that dark beer boosts supply, wines and spirits seem to have the opposite effect on me,” mum Katie Matthams Spencer tells me. Kate’s anecdote supports the evidence that while alcohol can inhibit milk production overall, dark beer’s ingredients might balance this out.

It comes down to this: if you don’t give people all the information, they won’t be able to make informed choices. If we withhold vital knowledge from women about breastfeeding and drinking, there is the potential for something to go wrong. If we allow breastfeeding women to be Othered by their partners or community, we instil outdated gender roles upon them that harm mothers and fathers both. If we judge women for their behaviour or actions while pregnant, breastfeeding—or in any other situation – it opens the door for extremists to take away our rights.

It might seem like I’m harping on about a minor inconvenience, or like I’m arguing for new mums to be presented with bottles of vodka in the delivery room. Neither is true. I’m merely saying, again, that women are human adults with agency who deserve to make their own choices about their bodies. We have the research. We have the information. Now let’s share it, instead of upholding abstinence-only advice grounded in guilt and shame.